Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Another day at the office

Thanks for calling tech support how can I help?

No matter what some think stupid people make the world go round.  Looking at it this way I've got a job forever. No offense but it's the truth, plain and simple.

Problem existing between chair and keyboard (PEBCAK).

Believe it or not most tech support calls resort from user error. If people would simply follow the instructions provided or simply ask questions first I might not have a career. Wait! I better keep that one under my hat, oops. Re: beginning, stupid people make the world go round and I get paid well to sit and laugh well you sit on hold. Yes, we laugh at your stupidity.

Kicking and screaming.

For some part there is screaming which results in laughing (see above) and more laughing. What person in their right mind calls up and screams and yells at someone who is only there to help? The nerve of some people's children. This type of scenario usually only results in being pointed in the wrong direction or hung up on, usually the latter. C'mon people!  If your brainless enough to have to call tech support then respect the fact that you simply couldn't follow basic instructions. As a child I bet it took you forever to figure out your supposed to colour in the lines too!

The know-it-all.

From time to time even when someone calls you for help they seem to know it all.  These are usually the people that tend to flaunt the fact that they are very familiar with computers.  Thinking you have an easy one are you hands you ask them to push the windows key and they turn the computer off.  Don't ask, yes it happened.

Joke: How can you tell a stupid person has used your computer?

Answer: There is white out all over the screen

In conclusion, its never a tech support reps fault you screwed up what you did, its yours. We're only around to clean up the mess. Sometimes go fig it just can't be done. Some things are just irreversible.

Ahhhhh, stupid people. Thanks for keeping me so gainfully employed.


Sunday, October 17, 2010

Ranting and raving.

I talk and talk and talk and talk. Those who know me know this well, those that don't I'm sure I'll tell you and tell you and tell you and tell you.

Let's just say I'm opinionated. I like what I like and don't much care if you don't. Hmmm, lets just say depending who you are. Even if you like it or not I'll probably tell you what I think.

Does all this matter? I'll go with no on your behalf.  Then again I'll more than likely have a thing or two to say about that too.

Your opinion. Not like I'd ask for it. Your 2 cents will always be out-ruled by mine. Who knows?! I'll probably use your own words right back at you sooner than later.


What can I say? To know me is too love me.

Pulling up my big boy pants

Everything always happens so fast for me. I've always been able to change things up on the fly. I'm here, I'm there, I'm coming, I'm going. Change, change, change! Let's just say I've been picking myself up and dusting myself off for some time. Life in the fast lane.

It started off as a normal fall work day or so I thought. Before I knew it I was back at home and on the phone to break the news. I was unemployed! Unlike most unemployed I was happy, excited and ready to hit the ground running. I was free!

The back story. Shortly after moving up island from surf city Canada I soon found myself between a rock and a hard place. Stranded in a new job and going nowhere fast. Basically I never fit in. No matter how hard I tried nothing worked. Once I realized this I gave up and started to plan my escape. I needed out and bad! Everyone good I knew was jumping ship for some reason or other. No one with half a brain seemed to stick around for long. Why should I? Who wants to be stuck in a job they hate? If you're not happy do something!

I had a plan! Scary I know. I was going to start using my brain again. I was going back to the real world! No more overbearing owners or bullying by some has-been college drop out manager (one of five I might add) who was hiding out from the real world. A real job is exactly what I needed. To be in a place where I didn't have to try to be I was!! No more lonely island inn for this guy. Movin' on up!

The Ace up my sleeve. Being down a lot more times than up at previous times in life I learned to become proactive and not reactive. I hated my job and they knew it. With one foot out the door I began seeking for my way out. That's when my nerd past came a calling. The day after becoming unemployed I emerged re-employed.

They say you can't keep a good man down.

Salutations to the real world, I'm back!


P.S. Just cause you pour syrup on shit don't make it pancakes

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Must not neglect my blog

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Where has all the good tv gone??

What happened to television?

Is it me or are we long gone from the days of Saturday morning cartoons, good afternoon tv and worth while prime time programming? Seems like what we got in its place is boring, boring, boring and then on comes the news.

I remember a time when morning tv was filled with cartoons and other fun shows. Now all we get is news, news, news. That's not even getting into the tons of boring talk shows. What! Do they think we're all business? Are there no children these days? I'm no youngster but I enjoy a good round of morning cartoons from time to time. Not to date myself but I can recall a time where it was Scooby Doo in the morning and Who's the boss before dinner. Gone, gone, gone! Now there is nothing close to that and you couldn't even find a Scooby Doo rerun if you tried.

Is there a comfortable medium? Is it any wonder why we're tuning out? Is this all there is? Where's the beef? I miss the good ol' days when watching tv was fun. Nowadays its reality show after reality show followed by crappy food show after crappy food show. Don't get me wrong I love food but seriously?!

Ladies and gentlemen the time is now. Take back your television! Take back your lives! Its not too late.

Please forgive for this post the cast of how I met your mother

Canadian Romantic Husband!

Man said to wife "Alright you sexy thing, upstairs now"

She looked at him and said "Ooh, you kinky bastard"

He said "No, seriously, hockey is starting, now fuck off'!

Friday, October 8, 2010

The Wife

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.

After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die.

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.

"Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly.

"If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"

"He said you're going to die," she replied.